I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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