You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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