in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
