Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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