So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
