She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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