You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
