i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize