Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
is wine microwaveable?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
