I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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