Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
