I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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