for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
