I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
