Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
