You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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