just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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