She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
