Hey man sorry I got all grabby
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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