Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
