I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Randomize
