Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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