I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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