K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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