Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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