Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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