He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
