just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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