her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
