I hope mine doesn't look like that
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
