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It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
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