I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
