Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
