capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
