I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
