i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
