The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
