If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
