dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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