you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
