no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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