i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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