absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We are two peas in an std pod
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
