hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Randomize