No stitches, just platelets and will power
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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