i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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