he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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