he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
