Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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