Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
