I think my vagina is haunted
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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