wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
