ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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