i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
