You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
