So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
