I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
