eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
