you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
