I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
